so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
