if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just high enough for therapy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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