Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
