so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
