dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
