so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
