no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
