Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
