Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
