i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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