my mouth tastes like poor choices
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
