New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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