When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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