he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
