he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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