it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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