Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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(415): View more from California

i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...

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(817): View more from Texas

I despise everything about her. Except her tits.

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