Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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