I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
