Your tits are I can't wait for
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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