I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize