This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize