I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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