she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You made out with two different species that night
I just blew my weed a kiss
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
40s are totally the cure
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
