Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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