ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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