I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize