How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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