I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
