at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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