You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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