i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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