the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
