just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
