did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
