The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
sex in a hospital.. check
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize