the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
