When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
