Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
