like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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