dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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