I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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