...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
