she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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