Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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