I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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