Yo dont text me then not text me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
