I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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