we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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