take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
