I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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