Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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