WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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