did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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