I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
