she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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