atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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