Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
