I met the friendliest cop last night
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
